Sharing Your Legacy!

Related Scripture:

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go”.

Joshua 1:9

I’ve always admired folks who are disciplined readers. I wish I were one of you, but I’m not. I struggle with the thought of reading a book simply for relaxation. My close friend Paul not only reads as a hobby, but he has also written 3 books, published white papers, and submitted blogs for Forbes Magazine. Before my boys were teenagers, Paul gave me a book that not only required reading, but it also included two pages for personal journaling (another discipline I struggle with), entitled “Dad’s Diary 30 Days to Being a Better Dad”. Is anyone else familiar? Each chapter of Dad’s Diary begins with Bible scriptures, along with a vision of how I can become a better leader of my family. It then provides the skills and direction required to make it happen. Reading and journaling Chapter 15 was extremely difficult for me. “Sharing Your Legacy” was the title, and the bible scripture was from Ephesians 6, verses 2 & 3; “Honor your father and mother, that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on this earth”. In this scripture, the apostle Paul says that this is “the first commandment with promise”. It reminds us that as children, we have a moral obligation to love, be obedient, and respect our parents. All of us are familiar with the Fifth Commandment,“honor your father and mother” - but what if a parent is not honorable? What if they don’t deserve it?

Growing up, I remember when being introduced to adults, they all felt it was important to share stories about Jerry. Comments like, “Your dad was one of the best athletes I’ve ever seen” (or something similar) were a common statement. Jerry was indeed a gifted athlete. He was an amateur Golden Gloves boxing champion, and 3 x time All-State football player at Longview HS, in Texas. In his senior year of 1959, he was selected to the National High School Football All-American Team.  His jersey and an 8x10 photo currently sit in the Longview High School Football Hall of Fame. I have no way of confirming this, but I imagine that he would have made it a personal goal each season to be the team leader in UNS fouls as well as 9-1-4 targeting fouls. Jerry was a very cruel person. Like most people, including my mom, I was scared of him. I lived with the expectation of harsh discipline coming my way for every little thing I did. Punishment worsened during my grade school years. Spanking with a belt was not successful unless bruises appeared on my rear, back of my thighs, arms, or hands if they got in the way. Getting slapped in the face was the worst. His abuse was very impactful. Although he was my dad, I constantly struggled with God’s command to honor him, as he didn’t fulfill that obligation to me. I grew to hate him.

As I began reading and working through Chapter 15, I realized my biggest challenge would be to write to my kids details about my dad, whom I was embarrassed by and deeply resented. Learning how to process and deal with the damage of an abusive father was a long and challenging journey. Chapter 15 would be their first knowledge of their grandfather committing suicide. What would I write that would be so vital for my kids to read? How much in-depth would be appropriate? What was I going to say? I was 14 years old when Jerry took his own life. Writing about it wasn’t easy. It took me several days to finish journaling that chapter. I was honest. I wrote that I had grown up convinced that my dad had not taught me anything significant, and I felt I was cheated out of a normal childhood. As I grew older, I began to realize just how wrong I was. If I just learned to surrender all my struggles and burdens to God and let His perfect timing reveal itself, there were plenty of lessons to learn. Countless times I wanted to dismiss him and act like I couldn’t care less, but to begin the healing process from the emotional wounds he inflicted, I had to learn forgiveness and completely place my trust and faith in Christ. He taught me that every person you encounter in life (including your parents) has a purpose. They may provide support, guidance, teach you valuable lessons, or challenge you to grow. These interactions (good or bad) allow you to learn more about yourself, develop empathy and compassion, and ultimately shape who you become. Praise God, we are all blessed with the opportunity to become empowered by our experiences! I concluded Chapter 15 by promising my children that I would strive daily to be a father they would always be proud of, and one who would never be guilty of my dad’s actions toward me.

Joshua 1:9 says….

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go”.

Although God’s promise in this passage is specific to Joshua, notice there are no age restrictions. It applies to all of us, children too. This verse is a powerful reminder of the presence of God in our lives, and it encourages us to be fearless, resilient,and to stand firm in the face of life's challenges. Joshua 1:9 also reminds us that God is always with us; therefore, we can be strong and courageous as we pursue His calling in our lives. When you allow God to reveal His perfect timing, you, too, can begin to find peace and healing. Not only will your emotional and physical health be better for it, but you may also discover that God has placed someone important in your life as an example of how not to act.

Questions to Ponder:

I challenge you to make time to document the messages and values that are most important to you, and then share them with your family and friends. It will touch the hearts of those you love and allow God to continue to shape your legacy.

Jay Earnhardt - Mt. Juliet, TN - Sun Belt/SEC